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Little girl wades into a lake during sunset.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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Some people really love having kids. They love the idea of having a big family, with lots of kids running around, playing and having fun. That is a very sweet idea!
But in reality, parenthood isn't fun and games all the time. It's a lot of experiences like, waking up several times each night because your kids had a bad dream. It's a lot of preparing meal after meal after meal, and also doing dishes each time. It's a lot less free time for the parent, and a bunch more time spent caring for these little mini versions of yourself.
The hard thing is that when kids are little, they're very cute, but they're not always grateful for their parents. They can be very demanding, they throw temper tantrums, they make huge messes. Not every parent is prepared for the less-rewarding aspects of parenthood.
And there's the maturity of the parent. Because speaking of kids throwing tantrums… this Mom is 26, and she sounds like she behaves worse than her own children do. She's the one pitching a fit when her own Mom says no to her!
The Grandmother in this situation is writing for advice, as she shared here:
AITAH for refusing to watch my grandkids during Summer break. Me (53F), full time college professor. My daughter (26F), stay-at-home mom. Grandkids (8M, 5F, 1F). My daughter, let's call her Katie, has 3 kids and lives with her boyfriend. She is a stay-at-home mom with no other responsibilities.
To be clear, it isn't a walk in the park to be a stay at home parent (due to just some of those things mentioned before!). Especially when you've got a child under 1, plus a few older kids, that will certainly take up most of a parent's time.
But as this Mom is noting right out the gate: this 26-year-old Mom doesn't have any other work to do besides raising the kiddos.
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Woman hugs her Mom.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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In comparison, here's what the grandmother does:
I work as a full-time professor and have the months of June and July off. I typically use this time for training and professional development. Katie has hinted many times through the spring semester that she can't be home with the kids all summer and even has gone as far as asking me to keep them for a few weeks at a time. She has quite the explosive temper and whenever I don't do as she asks she throws a fit: screaming, yelling, and name calling until I cave.
This is tough to read!
Katie is clearly struggling with the same thing that many parents do each summer: figuring out what to do with those energetic kiddos all summer long.
Not sure why Katie would assume this Grandmother just has tons and tons of free time when she clearly doesn't. How strange. Katie seems overwhelmed, but she's not the first parent to experience this. Can she not send them to summer camp? That's been the go-to for parents for decades. And although not every family can afford that, can she send them to a friend's house for an afternoon? Maybe take them to a park to let them run loose with minimal supervision required? I don't know, there must be some option besides bugging the already-busy Grandma. And it actually gets worse from here.
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Young brother and sister relax outside in the summer weather by a large lake.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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The day before Mother's Day she wanted me to watch the 1yr old. I told her that I am injured (hurt my knee and it is difficult to walk) and her dad is super tired. She threw a fit and told me to grow up and that dad should "act like a man" and just get over himself. We eventually caved and took all the kids so they wouldn't be around her that day.
What an awful thing to do ones' mother, especially right before the day we're supposed to show our appreciation to them the most!
Katie is lashing out at everyone around her, as if that'll make them more likely to watch her children.
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Woman spends time with her Mother as they prepare a snack together.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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Fast-forward to the next day when she blocked my phone number and her dad's and didn't even call to say Happy Mother's Day. That is all fine, but the next day she calls her dad all nicey-nice and asks if he can watch her kids just one day a week during the summer so she can have a break. He tried to cave but it was an ABSOLUTELY NOT! from me.
That's just a diabolical switchup!
This woman isn't wrong for wanting to avoid this kind of behavior from her daughter. Blocking your own Mother on actual Mother's Day seems like it would warrant a huge conversation, rather than just sweeping all this under the rug. Although the Grandmother insists it's “all fine,” I really don't think it is!
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Group of kids attending summer camp play tug-of-war with a rope.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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Now everyone thinks I am the Ah ole but honestly I would rather work all summer than have to deal with her. My husband says it's for the grandkids and not her but I can't help but think we are rewarding her bad behavior. So, AITAH?
I'm curious by who she's referring to when she says that “everyone” thinks she's being the a h ole.
I think that this grandmother gets a pass because 1, she's working, and 2, she has a hurt knee, and can't be chasing around 3 young kids. Unless her husband is stepping up to the plate, what is even left to discuss?
Although it's nice that the husband is trying to think of the kids and not punish them for their Mom's behavior, I'm just not sure what he's expecting her to do. Maybe he should put all the kids in the car and take them to the beach for the day or something, leaving this Grandma to recover from her terrible Mother's Day, as well as rest her knee and recover from that.
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Little boy dips his toes in the water at a lake.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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